My name is Mrnnki (fucking deal with it)

There is a duality within superheroes: is the cape or the civilian the true identity? Is it Batman or Bruce Wayne? Superman or Clark Kent? Batman certainly doesn't put "Batman" on his paperwork, yet it is often believed that Batman is the truth and Bruce Wayne is the mask. Superman is the opposite—mild-mannered Clark Kent is the truth and Superman is the mask.

I'm Batman.

Welp, that was fun to say. Inside and outsids jokes aside, there is a point to saying that. I hold a different identity online than I do in "real life," and refuse to do anything online under my legal name unless forced. I don't even have any social media profiles under my legal name. I don't want them. My skin crawls at the thought.

It's not just that using your legal name on an online profile is a great way to permanently tie everything you do online to your physical, non-internet life. It's not that it leaves people one search away from finding your home address, or workplace, or email, or phone number (depending on what people finding sites have on you and what sports you played in high school). It's not that it's a "permanent" identity or whatever. If I wanted to never be known, I could change my alias every week. I don't. It's not that governments love to monitor their citizens via social media and politicians in the US have stated that they want to punish people for speaking about widely disliked individuals in ways they don't like, with harassment groups and employers following suit (which has, unsurprisingly, resulted in some free speech settlements), and the current administration is attempting to declare things like being left wing and trans tantamount to being a terrorist. They probably won't come after lil old me.

Things you said as an annoying teenager used to be ephemeral. Stupid remarks lived only between yourself and those who witnessed them. Before we had cameras in our pockets and a large chunk of socialization happened on places that stored records indefinitely, these passing remarks disappeared forever. Not everything is intended to be or worth preserving. No one should care about what I asked my mom to order me from the local pizza shop or whatever other inane things live in my text messages, emails, and other various digital places. Yet, digital records persist.

This information is often traded across or collected from several networks for tracking or surveillance, targeted advertising, and sometimes just plain leaked (see whatever this month's latest data breaches are). It also may not require a warrant to access. What a reassuring thing to know when so many laws about "age verification" using government documents are being proposed!

But even that's not what I'm talking about. I made this choice long before I learned about all of that shit. So, let's circle back to Batman.

I keep a stable alias. I have been Mrnnki for multiple years at this point. I openly declare and discuss my past aliases. There is no point in hiding who I am. But some people would argue that by using an alias, that's what I'm doing. It's not. I changed names because they didn't fit, not because I wanted to hide myself. And now I have something I love.

Mrnnki is real. Mrnnki is true. Mrnnki is me.

The thing that files taxes and clocks into work every weekday and says hello to people at family gatherings and parties is a means to an end. The truth lives in my art, and my art lives online. When I go into meat mech land, where people have faces I have trouble recognizing, I must be acceptable. I must conform to standards. I look out and I see people who want me dead, and many of them hold political power. Conversations move past me. People who care about what I care about are an hour's drive away at least, and as busy as I am.

So everyone sees the palatable, acceptable, polite human face that makes art sometimes. They do not see the tomcat furry concocting entire fictional worlds and building a crappy website. It slips out sometimes, and I feel like I'm holding people hostage when it happens. But here? I can talk as much as I want and someone might care about it.

When I am asked to "confirm my identity" or "use my real name" online, I know that means legal documents. It means the meat mech. I don't want to be known by my meat mech.